


Brittle

by soullessGesture



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Angst, M/M, Talk of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4994257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soullessGesture/pseuds/soullessGesture
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the strong become the weak and the world turns upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brittle

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt was: "Things you said that made me feel like shit" with Neku being the one to screw up.

Joshua wasn't too sure what happened. One minute him and Neku were watching some crime show and the next they were fighting about god knows what (he seriously had no idea what they were fighting about). The Composer was hardly even paying attention to Neku's ranting until the orange haired boy screamed in his face.

   “...I WISH I'D NEVER EVEN MET YOU!”

   That was new. That was something he hadn't heard from his proxy before, something he'd never expected to hear. He had no prepared reaction, no words he could counter with. All he could do was slowly step back(when had they stood up?) and look the teen over as the distance grew greater. Neku was  _seething._

   Joshua couldn't take being there anymore. He needed to get out, so he turned on his heel and darted out of the apartment as fast as he could. He ran all throughout Shibuya until it was physically impossible for him to move anymore. The Statue of Hachiko is where he finally collapsed, exhausted from running throughout his city in a panic.

   He lets out a tired sigh, weakly glaring at the area he landed in.  _At least it's not the mural…_  He thought, pulling out his phone to call Mr. H. There was no way he could make it back to the Shibuya River right now, not by himself anyways. Going back there didn't sound very appealing, though.

   “...Hey… I need a few favors…,” The blonde's voice cracked and it only just hit him that he'd been fighting back horrible emotions he hadn't felt in so long. He didn't want to feel them. He didn't want to feel  _anything_. “I'm by Hachiko… can you come get me? And also, can I stay at WildKat for awhile…?” Mr. H asked him some questions, but Josh couldn't get out more than botched version of Neku's name.

   By the time Hanekoma arrived, the boy had passed out by the statue and had obviously been crying.

 

 

   WildKat was oddly busy the next morning, but Joshua didn't mind in the slightest. It kept Sanae busy enough to leave him unattended in the backroom where he could wallow in supposedly long-forgotten emotions. The words his favorite person had screamed at him echoed through his mind non-stop and before he knew it he was crying again.

   Maybe he should erase Neku's memory. That way, for Neku, it would be like they'd never even met. He wouldn't even know Yoshiya Kiryu existed. Part of him wanted to go through with that, but another part knew that it wasn't the right thing to do-- not without bringing it up to the boy in question, at least.  _Impossible. I can't do that. He probably doesn't want to see me and there's no way I can see him the way I am now._

   He rolled over onto his side, curled up with his back to the door, and managed to fall asleep when his crying ceased.

 

 

   The sound of the door opening sometime later is what wakes him. He immediately starts talking, not bothering to turn around or even open his eyes. “Sanae, I was thinking… I might just erase Neku's memory. Ah, but I would only erase any trace of myself, that way it won't affect your relationship with him, or anyone else's for that matter.” A half-hearted chuckle escapes him. “You would get upset with me if I messed anything else up for him, right? Can't have that.”

   Sanae wasn't saying anything, but he probably knew Joshua wasn't done talking and figured it would be best to let the kid finish before offering any form of words.

   “Hey… what if instead of erasing me from his memory… I just erased myself from existence? I'm capable of that, you know?  Of course, I'd help find a replacement Composer first. Couldn't leave Shibuya unattended.” This idea was sounding more appealing to his tired mind. “I think I'll go with the latter idea, actually. Hee hee, yeah. It's the best option, don't you think? Sanae?”

   “Don't you fucking dare.”

   Joshua's eyes snapped open, but he was completely paralyzed. That was  _not_  Sanae Hanekoma. The blonde could feel the weight setting on his chest, his throat tightening as his eyes began to burn again.  _No no nononono. Not now. Not in front of him. Please he can't see me this way!_

   “Josh. I came to talk to you. You weren't… home, so I came here.”

   “Talk about what, Neku?” He cursed under his breath when his voice cracked from his fight with his own emotions.

   “Yesterday. I… I didn't mean to yell at you.” Neku sounded sincere enough, but the Composer obviously didn't understand. Neku was obviously walking towards him at that point and Joshua couldn't help but flinch and bury his face in the couch when his proxy touched his shoulder. “Please look at me.”

   He did, slowly but surely, turn his head to look at Neku. The orange haired boy looked so shocked by his current appearance. It probably wasn't very appealing to look at, so he couldn't blame him for looking away.

   “God… Josh, I'm so sorry.” Neku ran a hand through his hair, voice wavering slightly. “I didn't mean to get so upset with you, it was so uncalled for. And I  _never_ meant to say  _that._ I swear I didn't mean it.”

   “...It's okay, Neku. Don't worry about it.”

   “How can I not worry about when you're lying in the back of WildKat crying and ready to kill yourself because of what I said?!”

   “I can go with former then...”

   “No! Joshua, I don't want to forget you and I don't want you to die. We've been through way too much together for me to just let you go so easily. I know I screwed up and said something terrible and I have no excuse for that, but please believe me when I say that I didn't mean it. I'm so glad I met you and that you're here in my life, so  _please_  don't do anything drastic.” At some point, he'd also started to cry.

   “...Neku, I can't believe you could say that so easily. It's embarrassing.” He slowly sits up, reaching out to wipe away the other boys tears. “Don't cry, dear. It doesn't suit you.”

   Neku sobs, smiling slightly as he places hands on his partner's face before taking a seat next to him “Look who's talking, idiot. You're a mess.”

   “But, I'm your mess.” He can't help but smile, feeling the weight leave his chest as he gently bumps their foreheads together.


End file.
